Toddler Jealousy during Breastfeeding?

Time after time when I visit families with both a newborn/ infant and a toddler it is a constant battle for mom to make her older child feel included while breastfeeding. Toddlers often feel jealousy or loneliness when mom is so closely snuggled with the newbie and it is hard for them to understand that this is the way baby eats, it is not mom choosing one over the other. This closeness is also very difficult to mimic. No matter how many hugs your toddler gets somehow it just doesn’t seem the same as when you are feeding the new sibling. There are a couple of great ways to make feeding time enjoyable for everyone. It does not have to be 30 minutes of telling your toddler ”no,no,no!” as she tries to get your attention.

The important thing is to make it a special time for toddler too. Toddlers love to help and this situation really does not have to be any different. Allow her to choose where you feed baby. Give her a couple of options, on the couch or in the nursery, Should we play music or read a book? Maybe feeding times are when practice her big girl letters or her numbers using flash cards. And these items, such as flashcards can be in the special “mommy & me box.” This box can only be opened when it is time for baby to eat and you choose a special activity out of it. A particular book or coloring pages, even a book of songs that you sing can be great. The box can be restocked every week so each activity gets rotated in and out. These activities and items will create a positive association with nursing time and it will be enjoyable for all of you. The jealousy will dissipate and soon your toddler will be coloring pictures of all three of you snuggling together.