Questions from my Friends - Transitions

How do I transition baby to the crib or out of the swaddle?

 There are going to be a number of transitions when it comes to bedtime as your baby gets older. How to move infants from the Rock N Play to the crib has become one of the most common questions I receive. What I recommend to families is to start with having baby sleep in the crib during naps at first. (The room should have the blackout shades and sound machine) Your baby should be put down awake to see that she is not in your arms nor is she in the rock n play. This will help her to feel more comfortable when she wakes.
Making the move before 4mos can help with the transition as babies tend to become more set in their ways after 16 weeks. This will also avoid a situation where you are forced to make the move quickly because she is to mobile to be in the RNP anymore. Making the concious choice to do the move at an earlier point will allow you to try out a couple of differnent schedules and new routines.
The crib can feel very vast to young babies who have spent their days and nights in the cozy little cradle.  Try to move baby when she is still in the swaddle to help keep her feeling safe and secure as she gets used to the new surroundings. You can choose from a few different ways to help her settle in her new bed.
 When you decide it is time to get baby out of the swaddle, be certain that she is really ready. If your little one is rolling over IN THE SWADDLE or has simply busted out of it, then yes its time to make a change, but if are just worried about breaking the "habit" of the swaddle, it may be too early. I have worked with babies that are ready to be out of the swaddle at 8 mos and ones who break out of it at 8 weeks so there really is no age that every baby has to be done being wrapped up like a little burrito.
 If it is time then you can go about it in a gradual way by taking out one arm for a couple of nights and then the other arm for a couple more nights. Once both arms are out you can start having baby sleep in a sleep sack rather than the bottom of the swaddle blanket.

Questions from my Friends - Night Weaning

Night Weaning

If you are feeding your baby throughout the night he is on a 24 hr feeding schedule and the calories he is getting during the nightttime hours will need to be shifted to the daytime.
 To do this you will need to increase your baby's caloric intake throughout the day by offering some additonal feedings in the later afternoon as well as snacks if he is eating solids.
 Dream Feeds are great for young infants as well as older babies. These feeds allow you to offer your baby a final feeding for the night without feeding on demad. It is on your terms and no bad habits are being perpetuated. This will prevent you from wondering if baby is hungry during overnight awakenings.
Overnight you can either stop feeding all together (after the dream feed) or you can gradually decrease the amout your are giving at each feeding. If you are bottle feeding you can dillute the formula/milk with more and more water each night until his appetie shifts. If you are breast feeding you can simply offer the baby less and less each night.
Putting baby down awake will be essential during the weaning process. You can use quite a few different options to settle baby, depending on his temperment and your routines. You can continue to comfort verbally and with some physical intervention but the idea will be to not replace the feedings with another nightly habit, so slowly use less and less intervention every couple of nights until your baby learns this new skill of self soothing.

Questions from my Friends - Putting themselves to Sleep

  How do I get my Baby to put himself to Sleep?

The key to this is Putting Baby Down Awake!!!
Once you have gone through your bedtime routine, including bath,dress, read and feed,
the baby should be put down awake. If he is asleep he should be jiggled a bit, just enough to open his eyes and see that you are no loger ronkng him off to dreamland.
 If your baby fusses when you lay him down or if he wakes throughout the night, there are a number of ways to help baby back to sleep on his own, including being able to pick him up and rub his back but no matter what techniques you use to settle his cries, he cannot have constant contact from you when he finally dozes off.
 If you are holding, feeding or even rocking your baby to sleep, he will wake expecting you there and when he sees that you are gone he becomes upset and uanble to return to sleep. It would be similar if you fell asleep in your bed and then woke up on the couch. You would be scared and completely unable to fall back asleep, it is the same scenario for baby.

Questions from my Friends - Learning New skills

Baby is waking while teething or learning a new skill

When your baby begins to learn a new skill, such as sitting up or standing, they like to stay awake at night to practice. It is also common for babies to pull themselves up to a stand or be in a sitting position and not know how to lay themselves down. They are stuck in a sense, but of course this is just another skill they will soon check off the list. You can go in and gently lay them down but make the intervention as unstimulating as possible, just in and out. Also give your baby plenty of time throughout the day to work on these new skills and get out the loads of interest and energy they have.They are ulterly amazed at the new things they can do and that can be very stimulating.
 Hunger is one of the most common issues when babies go through these growth spurts and times of new development. Be sure that you are increasing the daily caloric intake to keep up with how much your little one is burning off.
 If getting some new teeth is what your baby is working on, you want to be aware that you are not starting any new bad habits while trying to comfort him. A little added love is always okay but if you find yourself walking or rocking baby to sleep everynight know that teething pain is typically only spread over a couple of days, so if you see a trend starting, change up your comforting methods. Walk one night and sing the next.
Giving your older baby with a sippy cup with Chamomile tea is a great comfort, from both the teas as well as the cup itself. It is similar to the Camilla drops which are commonly used for teething pain.
 Once you can rule out pain as a factor, either with nautral methods or an over the counter pain reliever, return to your usual bedtime routine and allow baby to go back to self soothing to sleep.

Questions from my Friends - Toddler Sleep Space

  How do I get my toddler to stay in his bed and want to sleep in his room?

Once you have made the appropriate changes to your child’s schedule to ensure that he is not overtired or under tired when trying to settle for bedtime, you want to make the space appealing. Have them make positive associations with the room aside from sleep. Extra playtime during the day or having them help pick out some decorations can really help. If they don’t have a nightlight take your toddler to pick one out, it will give a sense of ownership over the room as well as provide some comfort at night. Eliminating fears is important, do some role play with a toy to see if he expresses any concerns about the space or being left alone in the dark. Whether you feel that there are fears or not, a cape for boys and some wings or a magic wand for girls, can help make the room monster free.

A sticker chart works great as an incentive plan. Each night they stay in their room a sticker goes on the chart. If they have a good week, there is a prize to be had. Give big praise at wake up and let them add the sticker to they can visually see the progress.

Toddlers do well having a sippy cup to bring to bed with them, it really doesn’t need to have a lot in it. It is just an item they get to hold onto and is there in case they wake up thirsty. It works much like their special blanket or stuffed animal.  Filling it with chamomile tea can be calming and help with any teeth that may be still coming in.

If your toddler is potty training there is a bit more involved in the changes to the nighttime routine as you want make sure he is not anxious and lying awake with fear of having to go during the night.

 There are also changes to the routine which can be made if your toddler leaves his room each night and comes looking for you. Those solutions vary depending on each child’s temperament.

No Substitute Will Do!

We have been lucky enough to have a couple of really great babysitters over the past year. And aside from the one who simply disappeared, we have felt really good about the people we leave the kids (3 and 18mos) with each week.
With all of that being said, after the importance of safety comes the importance of following the kid's routines consistently and making them feel as though this night is like any other only with the addition of their "friend," the babysitter, putting them to bed rather than mom and dad.
 So last night our sitter seemed to have a bit of a memory lapse when it came to the fundamentals of bedtime for my babies, and as I was laying awake at 4, 5, and 6am I realized that she really holds our entire household's chance for a good nights sleep in her hands. I realized that even with the smallest misstep the s**t hits the fan.
When we first got home, our sitter of course said everything went well and the kids went to bed without complaint. I went upstairs to check on them and when I got to my daughter's room I found her in The Wrong Bed!! I can undertand maybe forgetting the sound machine or leaving up the shades, but the wrong bed? She has a twin bed in her room along with her toddler bed and she was randomly in the twin bed. Oh ya, and her blankie was downstairs on the couch and there was a different blanket next to her. I'm sure for those of you whose children are not attached to a specific stuffed animal or blanket think it sounds ridiculous, but I knew that my daughter was going to wake up completly disoriented and basically with a stranger in her bed; the foreign blankie.

 Okay so we go to bed after ranting for a bit, only to be woken up at 4am by my son. I see that he is soaking wet, as is his bed. After changing everything I go to lay him back down and realize...where are blankie and Monks?? These are my son's two best buddies in the world and suddeny I find myself half awake searching in the basement for these guys.
 Clearly everyone's sleep was very disrupted, everyone woke up very early and then spent today being extrememly cranky.
 I think ultimately what I learned over the past 24hrs is that no matter how much someone cares for your children or how much time they spend together, they will most likely not crawl through the ball pit looking for a monkey, or pull off some Macgyver moves to change bedding and pjs without turning on a light.
And what does all of this boil down to? The fact that there really is no substitue for you.

A Little Time for You

We all know that we are supposed to be getting 8 hours of sleep a night, however, I think whoever
came up with that number never had an infant. It can be incredibly difficult to get a decent amount of sleep when caring for a baby, never mind multiples or even a toddler or two. Exhaustion can set in quickly and suddenly you realize that you can not spend the day locked in the bathroom, hiding in the pantry, or catching a couple of ZZZs at that red light. Sometimes we just have to learn to deal with the extreme fatigue and for many of my clients I try to give them some tips on how to survive the day while anxiously awaiting baby to make it through the night.
 Eating well plays a major part in how your body handles the sleep deficiency.  Healthy eating habits will help prevent illness that often follows fatigue, and can help you feel at least somewhat energized for the day. Foods such as blueberries, mushrooms and green tea have antioxidants that will fight off those colds that the rest of the family is bringing home from school and work. This way you can still work your shift, which is of course 24 hrs. As we know you can not take a sick day or move your meetings around, for reasons of being sleepy, so try to avoid the drive thru and treat your body well.
 I have said many times that sunlight is super important for baby. It not only provides great vitamins for healthy growth, it also allows baby's biological clock to regulate and understand that day is for awake and dark is time for sleep. The sunlight is also essential for you throughout the day. It will increase your energy and give that little extra push you need to get out of your PJs. Even if the forecast calls for rain, artificial light can actually provide many of the same benefits. Your body will be faked into thinking you are outside, and a dreary and sleepy day can actually become an efficient day full of function.
  Taking a shower and actually putting on clothes also have to become a priority. The longer you linger in your slippers and cupcake pajama pants, the longer you will feel like climbing back into bed. Put baby in the jumperoo, the bouncy seat, or even his crib and take a 10 min shower. Refresh yourself, by yourself, for just a couple of minutes and you will really notice the difference for the rest of the day.
 The longest someone has even gone without sleep is 18 days, however, once a human has been awake for 17 hours their level of coherence is the same as someone with a blood alcohol level of 0.5. Your ability to make sound decisions, have patience and simply enjoy your children becomes so impaired at times that you just want to run away and hide, but the little things can make a difference. I know its hard to even think about YOU when everyone else is so in need, but it's important for your kids, as well as your other relationships, that you take a breath (and a shower) and take one day at a time. By incorporating these small things into your day, getting through the next one may seem a little less impossible.