I was surrounded by loved ones yet completely alone.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
PPD
One day when my son was a couple of months old, I walked into my bedroom, in tears, and told my husband that I didn't feel safe taking care of Gus. I wasn't sure exactly what I was feeling but I knew that I felt a gray cloud over what should have been a feeling of unconditional love.
I was surrounded by loved ones yet completely alone.
Anything from anxiety to exhaustion can bring on emotions associated with post partum depression. Finding support is so important and I have been happy to pass on what I learned through my experience to the many emtionally drained moms I work with everyday.
I was surrounded by loved ones yet completely alone.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
A Mom Looking Back
"As infants, my boys never slept through the night until they were at least 2 years old. I spent many nights rocking them to sleep, only to have them wake up a few hours later. I walked around like a zombie. As they got older I thought things would get easier, but because I rocked them as infants they didn’t know how to fall asleep without me, fighting with me when it was bedtime – so I sat by their beds until they fell asleep – sometimes falling asleep on the floor before they did. When I see children go willingly up to their rooms for naps and at bedtime it makes me appreciate how important good planning and preparation is. I truly wish I had a sleep consultant around back then."
- Ruth Ann (mom to Zack, 15yrs and Alex, 13yrs)
Sunday, November 18, 2012
2012 Favorites List for Sleepy Moms and Dads
2012 Favorites List for Sleepy Moms and Dads
-Some of my new discoveries this year-
1. When
you just can’t make it home for a nap in the crib my favorite solution is The
Snooze Shade.
2. The
crib system that I wish existed when my babies were newborns.
3. With
reflux in infants on the rise and the small sleep wedges on the outs, these are
a great option for babies of all ages.
4. Anxieties
start from day one when it comes to your baby’s safety; these can offer those
with a little extra stress, some peace of mind.
5.
I have seen many swaddles over the years, these
are the best around.
6. This
one is for the locals…shopping local is a must and this second hand shop has
all you need for babies and toddlers at such huge discounts!!
7. Chamomile
Tea has become one of my go to picks for not only moms but their babies too!!
Chamomile soothes a baby’s belly, helps with teething pain, and offers an
overall relaxing effect. I love this for a toddler’s Sippy cup at bedtime.
8. LOVE
this site for bedding, both for kids and mom and dad.
9.
Itchy skin will keep your baby up for hours. Try
this soak for some relief.
10.
L.L.Bean pretty much makes the warmest stuff
around and when it comes to PJs they are no exception.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Thanks Dad!
One of my clearest memories of bedtime as a little girl was knowing that no matter what time of night I could always call out for my dad and he would always answer. It was as though he was just laying there waiting for me to need a glass of water or reasurance that the noise I heard was the wind. I thought of this last night when my daughter called out for me to bring her to the potty, I sprang out of bed to answer her calls, both to ensure that she made it to the bathroom, but really to give her that same feeing of security and comfort that I had all those years ago.
Monday, November 5, 2012
House of Horrors
So needless to say once the witch was activated she deemed it a good idea to lunge forward into my daughter's face while emitting a high pitched scream. The consequences of this moment are what have been surprising. I could understand that she never wanted to set foot in this store again, or even drive through the parking lot, but her fears really have gone way past just what happened inside the Halloween superstore. It now seems that everyday she is running from a 'ghost', bat or 'monster.'
Assuming that their are not actual ghosts and monsters chasing my 3 year old around the house, I wanted to find out the best way to explain to her that she is safe and sound. After much research I have found that how you handle this type of situation really depends on the age of your child.
For older kids, around 6 to 8 years old, it really helps to explain that these beasts are just pretend. That the store is just full of scarey toys and that the creatures in the haunted houses are playing a game. Now when it comes to the younger toddlers, like my daughter, the strategy is competely different. This age group responds better to thinking of the monsters as "nice." Little ones find it much easier to cope with the idea of a "friendly" ghost, rather than the idea that its all fake. At this age the kids are simply not able to use enough reason to distinguish the difference between real and pretend so keeping the explanation clear and simple is key.
I found that it is also essential to try to explain these creatures while you are in the moment. If your toddler tries to run from the scene, give some hugs and kisses and take that moment to describe what is really happening. If my daughter is watching TV and a scarey image is on I don't want her to run away and hide, otherwise she will be left with that horrific image in her head for the rest of the day including at bedtime.
These types of images are nearly immpossible to avoid, so the best solution is to know how your little one reacts to certain situations, and when in doubt don't push the "on" button.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Is it that Time Already??
(This was a piece featured by Zazoo Kids)
I know what you’re thinking, you just got your family transitioned to the school year schedule and it’s time to go through yet another nighttime adjustment as Daylight Savings Time comes to a close (here in Chicago.)
Since 1918 families across the country have been changing their clocks according to the calendar, and each year around this time parents continue to stress over one very important hour. While that single hour out of the day may not seem significant to those who do not have young children, it can shift not only schedules and routines, but temperaments and moods for those with toddlers on their hands.
Toddlers and young school aged children are not accustomed to sleeping and waking according to the time on mom and dad’s alarm clock. And for those of us who typically tell our kids they can get up “when it’s sunny” there may be a moment of panic when DST rolls around. Even parents who don’t mind an early wake-up call, should keep in mind that this one hour difference will not only mean waiting two hours for the Today Show to begin, it will mean that your entire day has been thrown a curveball. Meals and naps will be affected, as well as bedtime, due to the fact that your little ones are exhausted from rising with the sun.
Whether you have a new baby, a rambunctious toddler, or a child who has to wake to catch the bus, there are steps you can take to help your children through any transition, including DST.
Step One: create (and stick to) a bedtime routine. Kids catch on quickly to routine changes, so even when the time changes, keeping your path to bedtime the same will keep your little one’s anxieties at bay.
Step Two: install blackout shades. These are a must-have at any age, and especially for kids who have been told to “wake when they see the sun.” Room darkening window covers can be temporary, and are great if you’re on a budget. These can be found at almost any home improvement store in a variety of different designs.
Step Three: plug in loud sound machine.. Having continuous sounds play throughout your child’s naptime or through the overnight hours will help to create a sense of familiarity. The sounds allow for a calm to be felt during all those little nighttime stirrings. The sound of waves crashing or rain falling creates the same sense of comfort, similar to that provided by a special lovey or blanket. These calming noises also help to stretch nighttime sleep by drowning out all the outside noises of the world that tend to wake a little one’s curious mind. Once the shades have been pulled and that white noise fills the room your child will know it’s time for sleep.
Step Four: set your ZAZOO KiDS clock. The ZAZOO KiDS photo clock is one of my absolute favorite ways to teach your tots when to rise and shine,. These clocks are not only educational, by helping to teach your toddler time, but they actually give your child a fun reason to stay in their bed until the time YOU have chosen. ZAZOO KiDS employs the concept of “showing the kids the time before the kids can actually read a clock.” A moon image on the clock indicates “sleep” while a sun image indicates “wake up.” There is also an option to have your child listen to music or their favorite bedtime sounds while drifting off or once they wake. The concept of these clocks is easy for toddlers to understand and I have found that they actually enjoy watching the time change and waiting for the digital sun to shine.
If you feel that your toddler may be more ‘sensitive’ to changes in their schedule, it makes sense to slowly make alterations for a smoother transition. Beginning the week before DST (this week!), move your toddler’s bedtime forward by 15 minutes each night until you have reached that 60 minute mark. Or if time gets away from you and it is suddenly the day before DST, you can choose to move bedtime one hour later that night and within a few days you will be back on track.
The one problem that may arise with these two schedule change solutions is that they both have you stretching your little one past their prime at bedtime and that may lead to a second wind that is made of nothing but frustrated energy. The one piece of advice that I tell every one of my clients is that sleep begets sleep. From my experience causing a child to be overtired can lead him to have a night’s sleep that is restless and shorter than usual. So if you know that your toddler quickly becomes overtired and it’s difficult to get them back on track and settled at that point, I would avoid these methods and just stick to my steps above.
There really is no “right choice” when it comes to handling fluxes within your home, there is just the best choice for you and your family. DST is just one of many transitions that your youngster will encounter, and over time you will learn which methods work best. Whether your solution is a multimedia clock or scheduling out a gradual nighttime change, you will quickly see what alterations make life run a little smoother, and maybe next year you won’t find yourself saying “Oh no, is it that time already!?”
I know what you’re thinking, you just got your family transitioned to the school year schedule and it’s time to go through yet another nighttime adjustment as Daylight Savings Time comes to a close (here in Chicago.)
Since 1918 families across the country have been changing their clocks according to the calendar, and each year around this time parents continue to stress over one very important hour. While that single hour out of the day may not seem significant to those who do not have young children, it can shift not only schedules and routines, but temperaments and moods for those with toddlers on their hands.
Toddlers and young school aged children are not accustomed to sleeping and waking according to the time on mom and dad’s alarm clock. And for those of us who typically tell our kids they can get up “when it’s sunny” there may be a moment of panic when DST rolls around. Even parents who don’t mind an early wake-up call, should keep in mind that this one hour difference will not only mean waiting two hours for the Today Show to begin, it will mean that your entire day has been thrown a curveball. Meals and naps will be affected, as well as bedtime, due to the fact that your little ones are exhausted from rising with the sun.
Whether you have a new baby, a rambunctious toddler, or a child who has to wake to catch the bus, there are steps you can take to help your children through any transition, including DST.
Step One: create (and stick to) a bedtime routine. Kids catch on quickly to routine changes, so even when the time changes, keeping your path to bedtime the same will keep your little one’s anxieties at bay.
Step Two: install blackout shades. These are a must-have at any age, and especially for kids who have been told to “wake when they see the sun.” Room darkening window covers can be temporary, and are great if you’re on a budget. These can be found at almost any home improvement store in a variety of different designs.
Step Three: plug in loud sound machine.. Having continuous sounds play throughout your child’s naptime or through the overnight hours will help to create a sense of familiarity. The sounds allow for a calm to be felt during all those little nighttime stirrings. The sound of waves crashing or rain falling creates the same sense of comfort, similar to that provided by a special lovey or blanket. These calming noises also help to stretch nighttime sleep by drowning out all the outside noises of the world that tend to wake a little one’s curious mind. Once the shades have been pulled and that white noise fills the room your child will know it’s time for sleep.
Step Four: set your ZAZOO KiDS clock. The ZAZOO KiDS photo clock is one of my absolute favorite ways to teach your tots when to rise and shine,. These clocks are not only educational, by helping to teach your toddler time, but they actually give your child a fun reason to stay in their bed until the time YOU have chosen. ZAZOO KiDS employs the concept of “showing the kids the time before the kids can actually read a clock.” A moon image on the clock indicates “sleep” while a sun image indicates “wake up.” There is also an option to have your child listen to music or their favorite bedtime sounds while drifting off or once they wake. The concept of these clocks is easy for toddlers to understand and I have found that they actually enjoy watching the time change and waiting for the digital sun to shine.
If you feel that your toddler may be more ‘sensitive’ to changes in their schedule, it makes sense to slowly make alterations for a smoother transition. Beginning the week before DST (this week!), move your toddler’s bedtime forward by 15 minutes each night until you have reached that 60 minute mark. Or if time gets away from you and it is suddenly the day before DST, you can choose to move bedtime one hour later that night and within a few days you will be back on track.
The one problem that may arise with these two schedule change solutions is that they both have you stretching your little one past their prime at bedtime and that may lead to a second wind that is made of nothing but frustrated energy. The one piece of advice that I tell every one of my clients is that sleep begets sleep. From my experience causing a child to be overtired can lead him to have a night’s sleep that is restless and shorter than usual. So if you know that your toddler quickly becomes overtired and it’s difficult to get them back on track and settled at that point, I would avoid these methods and just stick to my steps above.
There really is no “right choice” when it comes to handling fluxes within your home, there is just the best choice for you and your family. DST is just one of many transitions that your youngster will encounter, and over time you will learn which methods work best. Whether your solution is a multimedia clock or scheduling out a gradual nighttime change, you will quickly see what alterations make life run a little smoother, and maybe next year you won’t find yourself saying “Oh no, is it that time already!?”
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
I Drove 200 miles for a Good Night's Rest
Last night's bedtime routine was the same as any other only with the soothing sounds of heavy rains and crashing winds. The power lasted until about 9pm, when it started to flash and flicker before completely abandoning us. With each brief blackout I headed upstairs to reset the kid's clocks and sleep machines trying to ensure they would not wake fearful in a room filled with nothing but darkness. Unfortunatly my efforts were for nothing, because the lights inevidably went dark and I was left anxious about how the morning hours would arrive. As if the hurricane outside my window was not enough, I was concerned that the kids would be scared and wake prematuraly. Stuffed animals, nightlights, clocks, sounds machines, and any other special objects are what create a sense of safety and comfort for a child. Without their "friends" surrounding them your kids might as well wake up on the floor because these are the key objects to create a feeling of familiarity.
So a dark and stormy 6am rolled around and I awoke to hysterical cries of an extrememly frightened 3 yr old feeling lost in her sleep space. My daughter, who is used to having the route to her door lit by a soft glow, could not only not see her door she could not see her hands in front of her face. Her cries were quickly followed by the screams of my son, so needless to say this was not a sequence of events that I was going to put my babies through for one more night. And away we went to Nana and Papa's house. Yup I drove 200 miles so that my kids could go through their regular bedtime routine, which includes a warm bath, and fall asleep surrounded by the lights and whimsy that help them snooze soundly. We all know that a string of bad nights leads to a string of bad days and thats not healthy for mom or baby..and why I was willing to travel across 3 states to finally get everyone some rest.
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Apps to the Rescue!!!
You would think that since this mega storm is bringing days worth of dark clouds, the kiddos would be able to sleep in a few extra hours. Unfortuanlty many of us are likely to loose power and when the power goes out so does your baby's sounds machine, your toddler's sleep/wake clock, along with any nightlight that is keeping the spooky monsters away. So in other words, startling wakeups are actually more likely in teh coming nights.
A couple of helpful hints - Download the white noise app on your phone or ipod/ipad so your bbay will not go without. You can also use an app called Mr. Moonlight to help toddlers stay on track and finally for your older kids who will not admit that they are afraid of the dark...the flash light function on your phone is key..or you can just give them a flashlight to keep close at hand.
Oh ya...charge your devices in the car for a bit in the morning...so you will not be out of communication with the world:)
A couple of helpful hints - Download the white noise app on your phone or ipod/ipad so your bbay will not go without. You can also use an app called Mr. Moonlight to help toddlers stay on track and finally for your older kids who will not admit that they are afraid of the dark...the flash light function on your phone is key..or you can just give them a flashlight to keep close at hand.
Oh ya...charge your devices in the car for a bit in the morning...so you will not be out of communication with the world:)
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Questions from my Friends - No More Swing
How do I get my Baby to stop napping in the swing?
For many parents the baby swing in a true godsend. However, there are a few negative aspects to having baby swing into dreamland everyday. When a baby falls asleep while in motion , whether it be in the swing or the car, it is less restful then if baby had been laying still. What I recommend is for people to turn off the swing once baby is asleep, this can also be a good way to begin transitioning baby from the swing to the crib, during naps or bedtime.
Going through this transition can be difficult especially if baby is no longer a young infant or using a swaddle anymore. For older babies it will be important to start a naptime routine, similar to what you have been doing at night. Go to baby's room, turn down the lights, turn on the sound machine and if you are feeding her than just be sure that when you ley her down she is awake. It is fine to give her lots of extra love during this transition, but essentially you know that she is already capable of falling asleep on her own, as you were not sitting right next to her or holding her when she was in the swing. Keep that in mind while allowing your little one settle and if she is older than 6 mos give her a few of her favorite quiet toys to keep her company
Before you start the transition it is a must to have an idea as to what sleep training techniques you want to use if she has trouble with the independance of the crib, this will make it less stressful for you when you have a plan ready.
For many parents the baby swing in a true godsend. However, there are a few negative aspects to having baby swing into dreamland everyday. When a baby falls asleep while in motion , whether it be in the swing or the car, it is less restful then if baby had been laying still. What I recommend is for people to turn off the swing once baby is asleep, this can also be a good way to begin transitioning baby from the swing to the crib, during naps or bedtime.
Going through this transition can be difficult especially if baby is no longer a young infant or using a swaddle anymore. For older babies it will be important to start a naptime routine, similar to what you have been doing at night. Go to baby's room, turn down the lights, turn on the sound machine and if you are feeding her than just be sure that when you ley her down she is awake. It is fine to give her lots of extra love during this transition, but essentially you know that she is already capable of falling asleep on her own, as you were not sitting right next to her or holding her when she was in the swing. Keep that in mind while allowing your little one settle and if she is older than 6 mos give her a few of her favorite quiet toys to keep her company
Before you start the transition it is a must to have an idea as to what sleep training techniques you want to use if she has trouble with the independance of the crib, this will make it less stressful for you when you have a plan ready.
Monday, October 15, 2012
Questions from Friends - Sleep Regression
Why is my Baby Suddenly Sleeping Poorly?
Sleep regression happens to every baby at one time or another. Around 12-16 weeks is the most common age for the first regression to occur and it can be utterly baffling to parents. It is often a mystery as to how your baby suddenly took a turn for the worse when you have not changed a thing about your bedtime routine/schedule. Surprisingly enough this is actually part of the problem.
As baby grows it is a must to keep up with his needs. A schedule change will most likely be necessary to move bedtime earlier and spread naps apart a bit, maybe even drop a nap in the afternoon.
Increasing your baby's caloric intake throughout the day will also become very important, especially when you are trying to wean off the night feedings. Adding in a dream feed to the nighttime routine can be a great addition at ths point.
Once your baby hits that 3 to 4 mons mark, you will want to be putting baby down awake at all times. He is now aware of his surroundings and when he wakes up in the crib he will no longer be abe to ignore the fact he's not in your arms. So with the combination of a full belly and the falling asleep in the same place he is waking, it will make for much smoother nights.
With sleep regression the most important thing to rememmber is that your baby has proven that he can sleep well into the nightime hours. His wakings now are most likely due to hunger, so you have to be diligent not to start any bad habit during these wak ups. Be care ful not to start rocking or walking baby to sleep every night or the wake ups will soon become habitual, like a little internal alarm clock that will go off each night telling baby its time for a attention, even if hunger is not an issue.
Sleep regression happens to every baby at one time or another. Around 12-16 weeks is the most common age for the first regression to occur and it can be utterly baffling to parents. It is often a mystery as to how your baby suddenly took a turn for the worse when you have not changed a thing about your bedtime routine/schedule. Surprisingly enough this is actually part of the problem.
As baby grows it is a must to keep up with his needs. A schedule change will most likely be necessary to move bedtime earlier and spread naps apart a bit, maybe even drop a nap in the afternoon.
Increasing your baby's caloric intake throughout the day will also become very important, especially when you are trying to wean off the night feedings. Adding in a dream feed to the nighttime routine can be a great addition at ths point.
Once your baby hits that 3 to 4 mons mark, you will want to be putting baby down awake at all times. He is now aware of his surroundings and when he wakes up in the crib he will no longer be abe to ignore the fact he's not in your arms. So with the combination of a full belly and the falling asleep in the same place he is waking, it will make for much smoother nights.
With sleep regression the most important thing to rememmber is that your baby has proven that he can sleep well into the nightime hours. His wakings now are most likely due to hunger, so you have to be diligent not to start any bad habit during these wak ups. Be care ful not to start rocking or walking baby to sleep every night or the wake ups will soon become habitual, like a little internal alarm clock that will go off each night telling baby its time for a attention, even if hunger is not an issue.
Questions from my Friends - Transitions
How do I transition baby to the crib or out of the swaddle?
There are going to be a number of transitions when it comes to bedtime as your baby gets older. How to move infants from the Rock N Play to the crib has become one of the most common questions I receive. What I recommend to families is to start with having baby sleep in the crib during naps at first. (The room should have the blackout shades and sound machine) Your baby should be put down awake to see that she is not in your arms nor is she in the rock n play. This will help her to feel more comfortable when she wakes.
Making the move before 4mos can help with the transition as babies tend to become more set in their ways after 16 weeks. This will also avoid a situation where you are forced to make the move quickly because she is to mobile to be in the RNP anymore. Making the concious choice to do the move at an earlier point will allow you to try out a couple of differnent schedules and new routines.
The crib can feel very vast to young babies who have spent their days and nights in the cozy little cradle. Try to move baby when she is still in the swaddle to help keep her feeling safe and secure as she gets used to the new surroundings. You can choose from a few different ways to help her settle in her new bed.
When you decide it is time to get baby out of the swaddle, be certain that she is really ready. If your little one is rolling over IN THE SWADDLE or has simply busted out of it, then yes its time to make a change, but if are just worried about breaking the "habit" of the swaddle, it may be too early. I have worked with babies that are ready to be out of the swaddle at 8 mos and ones who break out of it at 8 weeks so there really is no age that every baby has to be done being wrapped up like a little burrito.
If it is time then you can go about it in a gradual way by taking out one arm for a couple of nights and then the other arm for a couple more nights. Once both arms are out you can start having baby sleep in a sleep sack rather than the bottom of the swaddle blanket.
There are going to be a number of transitions when it comes to bedtime as your baby gets older. How to move infants from the Rock N Play to the crib has become one of the most common questions I receive. What I recommend to families is to start with having baby sleep in the crib during naps at first. (The room should have the blackout shades and sound machine) Your baby should be put down awake to see that she is not in your arms nor is she in the rock n play. This will help her to feel more comfortable when she wakes.
Making the move before 4mos can help with the transition as babies tend to become more set in their ways after 16 weeks. This will also avoid a situation where you are forced to make the move quickly because she is to mobile to be in the RNP anymore. Making the concious choice to do the move at an earlier point will allow you to try out a couple of differnent schedules and new routines.
The crib can feel very vast to young babies who have spent their days and nights in the cozy little cradle. Try to move baby when she is still in the swaddle to help keep her feeling safe and secure as she gets used to the new surroundings. You can choose from a few different ways to help her settle in her new bed.
When you decide it is time to get baby out of the swaddle, be certain that she is really ready. If your little one is rolling over IN THE SWADDLE or has simply busted out of it, then yes its time to make a change, but if are just worried about breaking the "habit" of the swaddle, it may be too early. I have worked with babies that are ready to be out of the swaddle at 8 mos and ones who break out of it at 8 weeks so there really is no age that every baby has to be done being wrapped up like a little burrito.
If it is time then you can go about it in a gradual way by taking out one arm for a couple of nights and then the other arm for a couple more nights. Once both arms are out you can start having baby sleep in a sleep sack rather than the bottom of the swaddle blanket.
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Questions from my Friends - Night Weaning
Night Weaning
If you are feeding your baby throughout the night he is on a 24 hr feeding schedule and the calories he is getting during the nightttime hours will need to be shifted to the daytime.
To do this you will need to increase your baby's caloric intake throughout the day by offering some additonal feedings in the later afternoon as well as snacks if he is eating solids.
Dream Feeds are great for young infants as well as older babies. These feeds allow you to offer your baby a final feeding for the night without feeding on demad. It is on your terms and no bad habits are being perpetuated. This will prevent you from wondering if baby is hungry during overnight awakenings.
Overnight you can either stop feeding all together (after the dream feed) or you can gradually decrease the amout your are giving at each feeding. If you are bottle feeding you can dillute the formula/milk with more and more water each night until his appetie shifts. If you are breast feeding you can simply offer the baby less and less each night.
Putting baby down awake will be essential during the weaning process. You can use quite a few different options to settle baby, depending on his temperment and your routines. You can continue to comfort verbally and with some physical intervention but the idea will be to not replace the feedings with another nightly habit, so slowly use less and less intervention every couple of nights until your baby learns this new skill of self soothing.
If you are feeding your baby throughout the night he is on a 24 hr feeding schedule and the calories he is getting during the nightttime hours will need to be shifted to the daytime.
To do this you will need to increase your baby's caloric intake throughout the day by offering some additonal feedings in the later afternoon as well as snacks if he is eating solids.
Dream Feeds are great for young infants as well as older babies. These feeds allow you to offer your baby a final feeding for the night without feeding on demad. It is on your terms and no bad habits are being perpetuated. This will prevent you from wondering if baby is hungry during overnight awakenings.
Overnight you can either stop feeding all together (after the dream feed) or you can gradually decrease the amout your are giving at each feeding. If you are bottle feeding you can dillute the formula/milk with more and more water each night until his appetie shifts. If you are breast feeding you can simply offer the baby less and less each night.
Putting baby down awake will be essential during the weaning process. You can use quite a few different options to settle baby, depending on his temperment and your routines. You can continue to comfort verbally and with some physical intervention but the idea will be to not replace the feedings with another nightly habit, so slowly use less and less intervention every couple of nights until your baby learns this new skill of self soothing.
Questions from my Friends - Putting themselves to Sleep
How do I get my Baby to put himself to Sleep?
The key to this is Putting Baby Down Awake!!!
Once you have gone through your bedtime routine, including bath,dress, read and feed,
the baby should be put down awake. If he is asleep he should be jiggled a bit, just enough to open his eyes and see that you are no loger ronkng him off to dreamland.
If your baby fusses when you lay him down or if he wakes throughout the night, there are a number of ways to help baby back to sleep on his own, including being able to pick him up and rub his back but no matter what techniques you use to settle his cries, he cannot have constant contact from you when he finally dozes off.
If you are holding, feeding or even rocking your baby to sleep, he will wake expecting you there and when he sees that you are gone he becomes upset and uanble to return to sleep. It would be similar if you fell asleep in your bed and then woke up on the couch. You would be scared and completely unable to fall back asleep, it is the same scenario for baby.
Questions from my Friends - Learning New skills
Baby is waking while teething or learning a new skill
When your baby begins to learn a new skill, such as sitting up or standing, they like to stay awake at night to practice. It is also common for babies to pull themselves up to a stand or be in a sitting position and not know how to lay themselves down. They are stuck in a sense, but of course this is just another skill they will soon check off the list. You can go in and gently lay them down but make the intervention as unstimulating as possible, just in and out. Also give your baby plenty of time throughout the day to work on these new skills and get out the loads of interest and energy they have.They are ulterly amazed at the new things they can do and that can be very stimulating.
Hunger is one of the most common issues when babies go through these growth spurts and times of new development. Be sure that you are increasing the daily caloric intake to keep up with how much your little one is burning off.
If getting some new teeth is what your baby is working on, you want to be aware that you are not starting any new bad habits while trying to comfort him. A little added love is always okay but if you find yourself walking or rocking baby to sleep everynight know that teething pain is typically only spread over a couple of days, so if you see a trend starting, change up your comforting methods. Walk one night and sing the next.
Giving your older baby with a sippy cup with Chamomile tea is a great comfort, from both the teas as well as the cup itself. It is similar to the Camilla drops which are commonly used for teething pain.
Once you can rule out pain as a factor, either with nautral methods or an over the counter pain reliever, return to your usual bedtime routine and allow baby to go back to self soothing to sleep.
When your baby begins to learn a new skill, such as sitting up or standing, they like to stay awake at night to practice. It is also common for babies to pull themselves up to a stand or be in a sitting position and not know how to lay themselves down. They are stuck in a sense, but of course this is just another skill they will soon check off the list. You can go in and gently lay them down but make the intervention as unstimulating as possible, just in and out. Also give your baby plenty of time throughout the day to work on these new skills and get out the loads of interest and energy they have.They are ulterly amazed at the new things they can do and that can be very stimulating.
Hunger is one of the most common issues when babies go through these growth spurts and times of new development. Be sure that you are increasing the daily caloric intake to keep up with how much your little one is burning off.
If getting some new teeth is what your baby is working on, you want to be aware that you are not starting any new bad habits while trying to comfort him. A little added love is always okay but if you find yourself walking or rocking baby to sleep everynight know that teething pain is typically only spread over a couple of days, so if you see a trend starting, change up your comforting methods. Walk one night and sing the next.
Giving your older baby with a sippy cup with Chamomile tea is a great comfort, from both the teas as well as the cup itself. It is similar to the Camilla drops which are commonly used for teething pain.
Once you can rule out pain as a factor, either with nautral methods or an over the counter pain reliever, return to your usual bedtime routine and allow baby to go back to self soothing to sleep.
Questions from my Friends - Toddler Sleep Space
How do I get my toddler to stay in his bed and want to sleep in his room?
Once you have made the appropriate changes to your child’s
schedule to ensure that he is not overtired or under tired when trying to
settle for bedtime, you want to make the space appealing. Have them make
positive associations with the room aside from sleep. Extra playtime during the
day or having them help pick out some decorations can really help. If they don’t
have a nightlight take your toddler to pick one out, it will give a sense of
ownership over the room as well as provide some comfort at night. Eliminating
fears is important, do some role play with a toy to see if he expresses any
concerns about the space or being left alone in the dark. Whether you feel that
there are fears or not, a cape for boys and some wings or a magic wand for
girls, can help make the room monster free.
A sticker chart works great as an incentive plan. Each night
they stay in their room a sticker goes on the chart. If they have a good week,
there is a prize to be had. Give big praise at wake up and let them add the
sticker to they can visually see the progress.
Toddlers do well having a sippy cup to bring to bed with
them, it really doesn’t need to have a lot in it. It is just an item they get
to hold onto and is there in case they wake up thirsty. It works much like their
special blanket or stuffed animal. Filling it with chamomile tea can be calming
and help with any teeth that may be still coming in.
If your toddler is potty training there is a bit more
involved in the changes to the nighttime routine as you want make sure he is
not anxious and lying awake with fear of having to go during the night.
There are also
changes to the routine which can be made if your toddler leaves his room each
night and comes looking for you. Those solutions vary depending on each child’s
temperament.
Saturday, October 13, 2012
No Substitute Will Do!
We have been lucky enough to have a couple of really great babysitters over the past year. And aside from the one who simply disappeared, we have felt really good about the people we leave the kids (3 and 18mos) with each week.
With all of that being said, after the importance of safety comes the importance of following the kid's routines consistently and making them feel as though this night is like any other only with the addition of their "friend," the babysitter, putting them to bed rather than mom and dad.
So last night our sitter seemed to have a bit of a memory lapse when it came to the fundamentals of bedtime for my babies, and as I was laying awake at 4, 5, and 6am I realized that she really holds our entire household's chance for a good nights sleep in her hands. I realized that even with the smallest misstep the s**t hits the fan.
When we first got home, our sitter of course said everything went well and the kids went to bed without complaint. I went upstairs to check on them and when I got to my daughter's room I found her in The Wrong Bed!! I can undertand maybe forgetting the sound machine or leaving up the shades, but the wrong bed? She has a twin bed in her room along with her toddler bed and she was randomly in the twin bed. Oh ya, and her blankie was downstairs on the couch and there was a different blanket next to her. I'm sure for those of you whose children are not attached to a specific stuffed animal or blanket think it sounds ridiculous, but I knew that my daughter was going to wake up completly disoriented and basically with a stranger in her bed; the foreign blankie.
Okay so we go to bed after ranting for a bit, only to be woken up at 4am by my son. I see that he is soaking wet, as is his bed. After changing everything I go to lay him back down and realize...where are blankie and Monks?? These are my son's two best buddies in the world and suddeny I find myself half awake searching in the basement for these guys.
Clearly everyone's sleep was very disrupted, everyone woke up very early and then spent today being extrememly cranky.
I think ultimately what I learned over the past 24hrs is that no matter how much someone cares for your children or how much time they spend together, they will most likely not crawl through the ball pit looking for a monkey, or pull off some Macgyver moves to change bedding and pjs without turning on a light.
And what does all of this boil down to? The fact that there really is no substitue for you.
With all of that being said, after the importance of safety comes the importance of following the kid's routines consistently and making them feel as though this night is like any other only with the addition of their "friend," the babysitter, putting them to bed rather than mom and dad.
So last night our sitter seemed to have a bit of a memory lapse when it came to the fundamentals of bedtime for my babies, and as I was laying awake at 4, 5, and 6am I realized that she really holds our entire household's chance for a good nights sleep in her hands. I realized that even with the smallest misstep the s**t hits the fan.
When we first got home, our sitter of course said everything went well and the kids went to bed without complaint. I went upstairs to check on them and when I got to my daughter's room I found her in The Wrong Bed!! I can undertand maybe forgetting the sound machine or leaving up the shades, but the wrong bed? She has a twin bed in her room along with her toddler bed and she was randomly in the twin bed. Oh ya, and her blankie was downstairs on the couch and there was a different blanket next to her. I'm sure for those of you whose children are not attached to a specific stuffed animal or blanket think it sounds ridiculous, but I knew that my daughter was going to wake up completly disoriented and basically with a stranger in her bed; the foreign blankie.
Okay so we go to bed after ranting for a bit, only to be woken up at 4am by my son. I see that he is soaking wet, as is his bed. After changing everything I go to lay him back down and realize...where are blankie and Monks?? These are my son's two best buddies in the world and suddeny I find myself half awake searching in the basement for these guys.
Clearly everyone's sleep was very disrupted, everyone woke up very early and then spent today being extrememly cranky.
I think ultimately what I learned over the past 24hrs is that no matter how much someone cares for your children or how much time they spend together, they will most likely not crawl through the ball pit looking for a monkey, or pull off some Macgyver moves to change bedding and pjs without turning on a light.
And what does all of this boil down to? The fact that there really is no substitue for you.
Thursday, October 4, 2012
A Little Time for You
We all know that we are supposed to be getting 8 hours of sleep a night, however, I think whoever
came up with that number never had an infant. It can be incredibly difficult to get a decent amount of sleep when caring for a baby, never mind multiples or even a toddler or two. Exhaustion can set in quickly and suddenly you realize that you can not spend the day locked in the bathroom, hiding in the pantry, or catching a couple of ZZZs at that red light. Sometimes we just have to learn to deal with the extreme fatigue and for many of my clients I try to give them some tips on how to survive the day while anxiously awaiting baby to make it through the night.
Eating well plays a major part in how your body handles the sleep deficiency. Healthy eating habits will help prevent illness that often follows fatigue, and can help you feel at least somewhat energized for the day. Foods such as blueberries, mushrooms and green tea have antioxidants that will fight off those colds that the rest of the family is bringing home from school and work. This way you can still work your shift, which is of course 24 hrs. As we know you can not take a sick day or move your meetings around, for reasons of being sleepy, so try to avoid the drive thru and treat your body well.
I have said many times that sunlight is super important for baby. It not only provides great vitamins for healthy growth, it also allows baby's biological clock to regulate and understand that day is for awake and dark is time for sleep. The sunlight is also essential for you throughout the day. It will increase your energy and give that little extra push you need to get out of your PJs. Even if the forecast calls for rain, artificial light can actually provide many of the same benefits. Your body will be faked into thinking you are outside, and a dreary and sleepy day can actually become an efficient day full of function.
Taking a shower and actually putting on clothes also have to become a priority. The longer you linger in your slippers and cupcake pajama pants, the longer you will feel like climbing back into bed. Put baby in the jumperoo, the bouncy seat, or even his crib and take a 10 min shower. Refresh yourself, by yourself, for just a couple of minutes and you will really notice the difference for the rest of the day.
The longest someone has even gone without sleep is 18 days, however, once a human has been awake for 17 hours their level of coherence is the same as someone with a blood alcohol level of 0.5. Your ability to make sound decisions, have patience and simply enjoy your children becomes so impaired at times that you just want to run away and hide, but the little things can make a difference. I know its hard to even think about YOU when everyone else is so in need, but it's important for your kids, as well as your other relationships, that you take a breath (and a shower) and take one day at a time. By incorporating these small things into your day, getting through the next one may seem a little less impossible.
came up with that number never had an infant. It can be incredibly difficult to get a decent amount of sleep when caring for a baby, never mind multiples or even a toddler or two. Exhaustion can set in quickly and suddenly you realize that you can not spend the day locked in the bathroom, hiding in the pantry, or catching a couple of ZZZs at that red light. Sometimes we just have to learn to deal with the extreme fatigue and for many of my clients I try to give them some tips on how to survive the day while anxiously awaiting baby to make it through the night.
Eating well plays a major part in how your body handles the sleep deficiency. Healthy eating habits will help prevent illness that often follows fatigue, and can help you feel at least somewhat energized for the day. Foods such as blueberries, mushrooms and green tea have antioxidants that will fight off those colds that the rest of the family is bringing home from school and work. This way you can still work your shift, which is of course 24 hrs. As we know you can not take a sick day or move your meetings around, for reasons of being sleepy, so try to avoid the drive thru and treat your body well.
I have said many times that sunlight is super important for baby. It not only provides great vitamins for healthy growth, it also allows baby's biological clock to regulate and understand that day is for awake and dark is time for sleep. The sunlight is also essential for you throughout the day. It will increase your energy and give that little extra push you need to get out of your PJs. Even if the forecast calls for rain, artificial light can actually provide many of the same benefits. Your body will be faked into thinking you are outside, and a dreary and sleepy day can actually become an efficient day full of function.
Taking a shower and actually putting on clothes also have to become a priority. The longer you linger in your slippers and cupcake pajama pants, the longer you will feel like climbing back into bed. Put baby in the jumperoo, the bouncy seat, or even his crib and take a 10 min shower. Refresh yourself, by yourself, for just a couple of minutes and you will really notice the difference for the rest of the day.
The longest someone has even gone without sleep is 18 days, however, once a human has been awake for 17 hours their level of coherence is the same as someone with a blood alcohol level of 0.5. Your ability to make sound decisions, have patience and simply enjoy your children becomes so impaired at times that you just want to run away and hide, but the little things can make a difference. I know its hard to even think about YOU when everyone else is so in need, but it's important for your kids, as well as your other relationships, that you take a breath (and a shower) and take one day at a time. By incorporating these small things into your day, getting through the next one may seem a little less impossible.
Friday, September 21, 2012
Is my Baby Carsick?
As someone who has always suffered from motion sickness, one of my first thoughts of when I had babies in carseats that were facing backwards was," wow that would make me really motion sick, I wonder if the baby could be feeling the same way?"
This week my family will be embarking on a very long car ride followed by a 2 hour boat ride so again I visited this question of whether my babies could be feeling motion sickness and is there anything I can do about it. The fact is that motion sickness is the result of confusion between the eyes and the ears and this of course can occur in a person of any age and may very well be hereditary.
After researching quite a bit about the issue I have come to the conclusion that my children are not currently showing any signs of having motion sickness and since the symptoms tend to get better with age, there is a good chance that they will never feel the effects of a choppy surf.
If you have noticed that your kids are excessively sweaty, fussy, having an increased amount of saliva, or are continuously yawning while in the car, they may actually be feeling ill rather than sleepy. These are some of the main symptoms to look out for, and if they seem to resolve when the vehicle stops you may just have your answer.
Prevention for young babies can be difficult as they are facing backwards and that can immediately cause eye/ear confusion. However, there are steps you can take to help; you can give your little one a clear view of the outside, try to remove shades that may block their view, and give them some fresh air, with a gentle breeze blowing on their face.
Some things can even be done before you leave the house. Avoid feeding baby while you are on the road or in the air. Also for long trips plan baby's naps around your travel. Sleeping through any travel will help baby feel less of the bumps and jostling that comes with any movement.
I know how difficult it can be to travel with motion sickness, so I want to stress, if you feel that your baby or toddler may have some belly trouble when in motion just keep an eye out for some of the big clues. If it is to the point where you are seeing complete belly eruptions day in and day out it may be time to visit the Dr. and ask about some over the counter meds that make life a little easier on everyone and cut down on the travel time anxieties.
This week my family will be embarking on a very long car ride followed by a 2 hour boat ride so again I visited this question of whether my babies could be feeling motion sickness and is there anything I can do about it. The fact is that motion sickness is the result of confusion between the eyes and the ears and this of course can occur in a person of any age and may very well be hereditary.
After researching quite a bit about the issue I have come to the conclusion that my children are not currently showing any signs of having motion sickness and since the symptoms tend to get better with age, there is a good chance that they will never feel the effects of a choppy surf.
Prevention for young babies can be difficult as they are facing backwards and that can immediately cause eye/ear confusion. However, there are steps you can take to help; you can give your little one a clear view of the outside, try to remove shades that may block their view, and give them some fresh air, with a gentle breeze blowing on their face.
Some things can even be done before you leave the house. Avoid feeding baby while you are on the road or in the air. Also for long trips plan baby's naps around your travel. Sleeping through any travel will help baby feel less of the bumps and jostling that comes with any movement.
I know how difficult it can be to travel with motion sickness, so I want to stress, if you feel that your baby or toddler may have some belly trouble when in motion just keep an eye out for some of the big clues. If it is to the point where you are seeing complete belly eruptions day in and day out it may be time to visit the Dr. and ask about some over the counter meds that make life a little easier on everyone and cut down on the travel time anxieties.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Fill Baby's Belly with Fiber
A full belly is one of my Top 10 Must Haves for your little one to reach his optimal amount of sleep. With young infants it can be simply a matter of increasing the number of feedings each day, however, when it comes to an older infant or a toddler a full belly can be a much harder goal to reach.
Babies go from great eaters to extremely picky overnight and that is when it is important to know
exactly which foods you should be offering, because at that point every little bit counts. Your child's taste can literally change from one day to the next, so you may easily find yourself at the end of the day realizing; your toddler has really not taken in many calories, and he will most likely be waking overnight looking for a snack.
As adults we tend to focus soley on fat, calories and sugar, but when it comes to introduceing food to your baby, fiber should be on the top of your list. Foods that are high in fiber take longer to digest and will therfore keep everyone fuller longer. To decipher how much fiber you should be pushing, take your toddlers age and add 5. So if your baby is 1, you will offer 6 grams of fiber per day. To acheive this, it will be helpful to start learning which foods are fiberous and contain at least 2.5 grams per serving.
Below I have listed a number of foods that will help your baby's belly feel fuller longer -
- Whole Wheat Bread
-Whole Grain Waffles
-High Fiber Cereals
-Brown Rice
-Beans
-Whole Wheat Pasta
-Leave skins on fruits, such as apples and pears
-Freah fruit over canned
-Oven baked potatos/fries with the skins on
-Smoothies - Sneak in fruits/veggies and proteins
- These move quicker through the system so they are great for kids with reflux.
If you find that you have not been offering your baby much fiber up until now, you should make it a gradual process. Introducing too much too quickly may cause constipation, which really just replaces one problem for another. So if you are typically serving a sugary cereal in the morning, slowly mix in a healthier option day by day. Adding fruits can also be beneficial. Plenty of water and other fluids will help baby's body to keep things moving and avoid any backups as well.
Start offeirng these high fiber foods early on so your kids grow to like them and will expect them at each meal. Kids thrive off of consistency with their mealtime routines just as they do with their bedtime routines. So when they know what to expect, they will be more likely to eat a full lunch or dinner and and therefore be more likely to get a full nights sleep.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
My Top 10 must haves to Help Baby Sleep!!
1. Room Darkening Shades - I mean DARK!!!
- Whether it is time to go down for the night or just a nap, your baby's room should be pitch black. The darkness strongly contrasts with the daylight and helps to regulate baby's biological clock.
Day = awake, Night = Asleep
2. A Full Belly - Be sure your toddler isn't on a diet:)
- Many people start to introduce solids to their toddlers and don't realize that they have replaced entire feeding with some peas and carrots, we don't want baby on weight watchers. Try adding some proteins into the mix.
- For infants a Dream Feed can be a great option to help baby get through the night without waking to eat.
3. Sound Machine - I mean LOUD!!!
- Be sure the sounds are not super robotic, it should be natural and calming and of course loud. Here is the one I like:
http://www.target.com/p/homedics-sound-spa-relaxation-sound-machine/-/A-10121441#?lnk=sc_qi_detaillink
4. A Friend - If baby is over 6 mos, he should have a BFF in his crib. This will help to comfort your older infant or toddler when he wakes throughout the night and give him some someone to play with when he wakes in the morning.
5. Swaddle - Every baby loves a swaddle..trust me. If your baby seems to struggle while in the swaddle, be sure it is super tights and baby's arms are straight down at his sides. Here is the swaddle I like:
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3726439
6. A Lamp - Those incredibly bright overhead lights you have on during the bath and bedtime routine..TOO BRIGHT!!!
- It is important that the bedtime routine, including the bath, has a relaxing atmosphere, and that begins with the correct lighting. A little lamp that you can bring from room to room with be helpful to have just the right brightness.
7. Wake-Up Clock - These are awesome for toddlers.
Love these:
http://www.zazookids.com/
8. Bedtime Relaxation Routine - A must for everyone to decompress, its shocking to go from alot of activity to the crib. At least 30 mins before your baby or toddler is due to be off in dreamland, you should begin allowing him to decompress. Head for the bath and then to his sleep space for some quiet play and book or songs. For older children this is still important, school age kids really benefit from discussing their day, letting you know what they enjoyed or had trouble with throughout their day.
9. A bright Morning Wake-up - A good way to say "yes this is the time I want you to get up everyday!"
- When you go into your baby or toddler's room at wake up be as cheery as possible. Open the shades, let in the sunshine and praise the for having such a good night in their bed!
10. A relaxed Parent - A rushed routine, stressed mom, and anxious dad will only hinder baby's ability to relax himself.
- Try to enjoy this part of the day, it will help everyone settle a little easier
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